god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
