You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
