if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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