next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
