Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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