thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize