why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
