I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
