I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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