she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it because I queefed?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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