the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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