Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
