That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
