I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
