Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize