i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We have started to decorate penises.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So much rum. So many feels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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