I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
