It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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