Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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