She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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