dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
