whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
