Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
