Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
