and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
