I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
