o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
