I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
