What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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