tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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