So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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