giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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