i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
