i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize