Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
