I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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