I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I will pee on everything he values.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
