airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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