i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
