thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
