I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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