Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
