Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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