What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize