i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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