All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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