He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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