nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
