did you get engaged???
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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