True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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