When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
