woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
