Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
