you're like a bully in the Christmas story
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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