Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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