sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize