I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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