My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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