who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize