I think I died a long time ago.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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