btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
