Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
