you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
