DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
