If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
