I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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